I Fucking Hate My Laptop

12-05-2024

I say some pretty gross things in this post. Like, Ingesting Putridity lyrics gross. That was your warning.

I'm gonna find whoever the ceo of Mediatek is and skullfuck them with a dildo that has razorblades and chlamydia encrusted needles affixed to it. Their wi-fi cards blow a significant amount of hot ass and one of those scourges being in my laptop makes me want to write a metal song about eviscerating everyone working for their business with a hacksaw and two cheese graters.
I'll just be minding my own business doing literally anything that requires a wi-fi connection and my computer will bluescreen. Or it will just forget how to connect with wi-fi. Or it'll restart. And every goddamn time I end up having to open device manager, uninstall the device and restart my laptop. And sometimes, I'll have to do it again because once isn't enough.
If you're gonna tell me "just use ethernet Viana it's better than wi-fi and this won't happen" first off, I know that. Shut your mouth before I tear your throat out and stick the aforementioned dildo in the tear. Second, I don't have an ethernet cable long enough and nobody in my house would be a fan of a wire constantly transferring data from my room to where the router is. Last but not least, it's a laptop; a portable device. It should be able to handle wireless connections with no issues whatsoever because it's literally designed to be taken with you wherever you need and not constantly tethered to something via cable. When's the last time your smartphone had an ethernet port?
Apparently AMD made a deal with Mediatek which basically mandates that every portable device with an AMD CPU must have a Mediatek wi-fi card. At least that's just what I read on a forum.
I'm gonna buy an Intel card to replace this fucking piece of shitass e waste. Then I'm gonna put the old card in a blender, turn it into dust, mix it with some water, drink it, vomit it back up into a jar, ejaculate into that jar and then bury it underneath my dead dog in a grandiose display of my wrath for this fucking thing.


Fuck.


Now read all of that again but with Huggbees' voice. It vastly enhances the reading experience.